"Your attention please. Train no. 8 - 4 -7 - 6 -- New Delhi - to - Puri - Neelanchal Express is running late by one hour. The inconvenience caused is deeply regretted."
The recorded message was repeated twice, in both English and Hindi, in a robotic succession. The agitated multitude grew more restless, but not Sanchayita. Her eyes followed each and every letter of the story she was reading in the magazine, her face presenting an apt picture of composure. She was lost, lost to the world, till...
A goods train pulled into platform no. 5 with an ear-piercing metallic screech. Sanchayita looked up from her story.
"...Passiveness is often attracted to assertiveness to complete itself. So placid, well-behaved women often find themselves in a relationship with aggressive and rough men and hence..."
Bustle and hurry everywhere; if there was any delay anywhere then it was in herself, her life. Her train was late -- late by one hour. She couldn't bear any more delays. Vertical grooves surfaced on her smooth, dusky forehead. She had made a lot of delay -- in understanding Sumeet, in finding herself, in realising her significance. She dog-eared the page she was reading and pulled her bags close to her feet.
She couldn't understand why she'd been so rash. It was her life after all, how did she take it so easy? Why didn't she delay earlier while making certain decisions that ultimately decided the flow of her life? Her marriage to Sumeet was a disaster. It was, perhaps, the biggest decision she'd taken in her life. But why? Weren't they in love with each other, having married against their families' wishes?
Sumeet was everything she could've asked for. Pleasant, caring, understanding. And when she looked into his sleepy, black eyes she lost herself. How did he undergo such an extreme transformation? Was it the same Sumeet who used to tire her with vows of fidelity? Was it the same Sumeet who used to sing love-songs to her? Was it the same Sumeet who used to compose couplets in her praise? Snatches of an old ghazal by the Hussain brothers flashed through her mind causing her eyes to well up.
Come along with me, song of my life
Let's free ourselves from the shackles of this society.
This used to be their love-anthem that had seen them through all the odds and had given them the spirit to break the fetters that held them apart. The song held no meaning now. That togetherness was over. The goods train had begun to move. The diesel engine shrieked, and as the whistle intensified a sharp sting rose in Sanchayita's heart. she felt, all of a sudden, very lonely. She felt as if she was standing on the tracks, all alone, and the engine was moving towards her. Closer - closer - closer. Coming to crush her. She is helpless; the engine runs her down; she is dead.
Sanchayita shrugged. It was a fact. She was indeed alone. She had left everything behind, everything that had once belonged to her, everything that she'd held dear, without any hope of ever getting them back. Not that Sumeet wouldn't return them, he wasn't that kind of a man. Sanchayita didn't want them anymore. Her freedom, her femininity, her life, everything was Sumeet's. He was so possessive he couldn't see anyone or anything else with her. Sanchayita belonged to her, he owned her.
Love for Sumeet meant possession. Love for Sanchayita meant commitment. She was committed to Sumeet and their relationship. His domineering temperament was known to her since the infancy of their relationship; but she was ready to give up -- her likes, her dislikes, her yes-s, her no-s, everything. But when rude reality hit her hard she found herself unable to retaliate. From an Austenesque world of dreamy love stories where Elizabeth Bennet, one of her favourite characters in literature, could gradually fall in love with the disagreeable Mr. darcy and end 'Pride and Prejudice' on a smiling note, she soon came to realise that the love of her life was himself the most disagreeable human being she had ever come across. Her love story was not destined to have a happy ending, it had to have an interlude -- a gloomy, eternal break.
She couldn't think of not loving Sumeet. And she couldn't think of changing him. She couldn't fight a losing battle against his gigantic ego, arogance and an extremely selfish nature. She wanted him the way he was. So she decided to leave him. The decision came late, but it wasn't too late to start life afresh. Her soul was purloined, and she herself wasn't hers anymore. It would take her a lot of time to gather everything. It would take a lot of time, a lot of delay.
She had cried the morning she found herself alone in the bed. She had cried the night before waiting for Sumeet to come back home. He didn't. He didn't leave a word, didn't even make a call. Sanchayita went to bed alone, drenching her sleep with her tears. That morning she learnt to get out of bed only for herself. She learnt to dress herself well to receive a bright new day in her life. She learnt to relish the cool morning breeze and the ambrosial dew-drops. She learnt to value everything she had lost out upon. She had discovered herself. She had made that great escape.
A new announcement alerted her. The crowd was restless once again. Strong, electric beam pierced the light fog that had loomed over the railway staion. Her train was approaching. The engine hissed before halting. Sanchayita shut her eye-lids, absorbing the noise, the life, the bustle. Bright specks glowed and moved in a zigzag track in the darkness behind her closed eye-lids. And along with those specks there was Sumeet's face. She opened her eyes and boarded her compartment -- AS-1. She wasn't late. Life had just begun.
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